The Honest Scrap Award

Well...I got a blog award today. Yay!!! Julie, over at Angry Julie Monday (go check her blog out), gave me the Honest Scrap Award. I've seen this on a couple of blogs so I thought it was pretty cool that she bestowed this award on me. Thanks, Julie!

So Here are the details:

1. You have to list 10 true things about yourself, (preferably what you readers don't already know).
2. You need to tag seven other bloggers to give the award to.

I am giving the award to:

1. Kara Noel at Eli's Lids. Kara Noel is an Orange County blogger with a cool business and a cute blog. I love how she posts in pictures with the super cute captions. Like this one. Plus...she has two adorable kiddos.

2. Foolery, because she is freaking hilarious. Like this great post about her four year old brother and a cigar

3. Sarah at Sweets by Sarah. Sarah has a super cute blog that is mostly about baking and food. However, since she's been in Iraq (a Marine officer) she's been posting about life in Iraq.

4. Georgia B. at It's Just How I See Things & her other great blogs. You can find the link to all her blogs there. I love Georgia's honesty and passion for beautiful things. And like Georgia, I love photography and hope to get better and better at it.

5. Amy at Inspire Co. I love Amy's blog both for the way she shares honestly, its beauty and her creative spirit. Love, love, love Amy's blog.

6. Author and humorist, B.J. Hamrick. B.J. has great posts from the heart about life and faith. And...she's funny. :)

7. Krissy at Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History because she's funny and smart and...honest.

8. And...an honoroable mention to Graham's Private Journal...who will probably never repost this. However comma he may be the funniest guy, like ever. Seriously, I laugh like crazy when I read his blog. In his latest post, I actually laughed out loud causing the people in my house to stare at me like I was a loon. He's THAT funny.

Okay, so 10 true things about me that you may not know:

1. I am extremely uncomplicated when it comes to my appearance. I love shoes. I love clothes. But...I'm very cheap (So cheap that I wouldn't buy my brand of hand soap that I found at Dollar Tree in NC because it's at Wal Mart for .97, Yeah.). So I don't like to spend money on those things even though I love them. I'm good with wearing little to no makeup, the cheapest clothes I can find that look good and I hate having do anything to my hair. I will blow dry it. But I hate doing more than that. The most I spend on my appearance is my favorite lip gloss from Clinique and my perfume. I bought some cute shoes last summer at the Exchange at Camp Lejeune and spent what felt like a fortune but what was in reality a pittance compared to what my friends spend on clothes and shoes. :)

2. I'm not uncomplicated in any other way. I'm stupid complicated. Insanely complicated. It's obnoxious really.

3. I don't like cats. Except for one.

4. The most expensive thing I ever bought for myself (before my car) was my precious camera...which is broken. And since I'm not working, I can't get it fixed and can't afford a new one. So...I use a crappy little digital camera in the meantime. I kind of hate it.

5. The only thing I REALLY wanted to do when I grew up was be a mom. Since I have quite an imagination, there were many, many things I thought would be fun and would claim I wanted to do/be (like a Naval Aviator). But the truth is, I just wanted to be a wife and mom.

6. I am scared out of my mind about what comes next for me. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and what comes next. I know what I've wanted to be doing...but I have run into so many brick walls getting there in the last 6 months I just don't know what to do.

7. I will adopt a child or possibly two if I don't get married.

8. I want my wedding, if I get married, to be like Don Henley's song "For My Wedding." I also could totally run away and get married without telling a soul. I could do it tomorrow. No planning. No prep. No nada. No joke. And then sometime later have a quiet little shin dig some place with family and closest friends. Maybe even barefoot on the beach. No Bridezilla for this girl. BUT...I'm fairly convinced I will never marry.

9. I love Steve Martin. He's ridiculously awesome. One of my favorite movies is Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels. He's so hilarious in that. I also love him in Shop Girl even though he's a jerk I want to beat him over the head with a stick. But he plays that part so perfectly. Flawless really.

10. I didn't drink alcohol until I was in my mid-twenties.

Friendship

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future,

and accepts you just the way you are.”

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. What is it? What do we think it is that it might not be? How do you build friendships? How do you (I) become a better friend? How do you keep up with friends who live far away? How do you step away from friendships that aren't healthy for you? How do you figure out if someone that claims they're a friend is really and truly a friend? I'm a person with more expectations then any one person should have. My expectations for myself are too high and my expectations of others? Also too high.

Yet, I've often gotten myself in trouble by ignoring my gut. Since I know I'm hard on people, I sublimate those feelings, those concerns until it's too late. So that's definitely given me some valid reasons to think about the kind of friend I've been and how to figure out when to say, "enough is enough," when it comes to people in my life.

I think one of the most important things I need in a friendship is honesty and sincerity. Without those two things -- which go hand in hand -- friendship is doomed to a sad, sorry state. The value I prize most highly in life is honesty. Right on its heels is to be real and to surround my life with people who are real. I strive for that. And that's who I want to have around me. I can't control whether my co-workers are real or sincere. I can't pick my neighbors. And I certainly can't control whether those I encounter personally or professionally will be authentic, real people either.

But I can pick the friends I bring into the inner circle. We all can. What I've found that hurts me the most is the person who makes "promises" they rarely, if ever keep, the ones that never follow through or the one who says all the right things but rarely does what they say. That's not to say that grace isn't necessary. It's always necessary. I want my friends to extend grace to me in times of difficulty -- when I can only muster the energy to breathe never mind be the best friend in the world. And I want to extend that same grace to my friends who are struggling too. But there are patterns. Obvious, clear patterns. And sometimes, all the grace in the world won't change the reality -- some people can't be the friend you need.

So I've decided I'm not having it anymore. I'm just not interested. I don't want people around me that can't be real with me. Or those whose sincerity level is more evident by what they don't do than by what they say. You can tell me all you want that you're a friend. The proof is in the pudding. That said . . . what about me? What is it that I need to do better? Friendship is most obviously a two way street. These are the values I believe foster and grow true friendship. And these are what I commit to working on to be a better friend:

1. To care for and love & accept my friends right where they're at.
2. To never make promises or commitments flippantly or without being certain I can back them up.
3. To be honest, speaking the truth in love. Sometimes...that might mean I have to say something I don't want to say & they don't want to hear. But without honesty covered in love, you can't have friendship.
4. To pray for them.
5. To listen when they offer me criticism about my own life. But to go beyond listening by considering prayerfully what they're saying.
6. To rejoice when they rejoice & to mourn when they do.
7. To triumph in their joys & accomplishments even if that means I face my grief and sorrow head on by being thankful -- truly thankful for their joy.
8. To tell them when their music sucks.
9. Kidding about #8.
10. To work at showing my appreciation and love for them in the ways that they understand best.

Friendship is a two way street. I know who I need to surround my life with. And I know who I need to be to be the right kind of friend. What are some of the things you need from your friend? What do you need to work at?

Oh heck why not...here's one more:

My writing

The post below is a chapter from my novel, The Red Thread. You may have read a selection I shared here awhile back called, "Babies."

Please excuse any formatting issues. I have one hell of a time getting Blogger to cooperate with me sometimes. And today it has decided to not accept my paragraphs. So there ya go.

The Red Thread (Sea Oats) -- some fiction for your Monday

***

Kenly has long been in bed. The adults have been sitting around the dining room table for nearing three hours now. I’ve long surpassed my patience for polite company. And I’m dying for another glass of wine but I’m afraid to ask lest they think I’m a lush. I mean, I am and all. But I don’t want them to think that. The conversation has drifted in and out of old stories and private family moments that I am as uncomfortable hearing as I am in my own skin.

Macon is sitting next to me. I’m guessing Grace and Charlotte arranged that. I’ve tried not to watch his every move. But it’s hard to resist. His forearms are chiseled in this way that I think, well, makes me tingle. Like, who knew one could possibly be cut like that on their forearms. The hardest part is that he doesn’t have the pompous personality that fits the look.

He’s confident, not pompous. It oozes from his pores like I ooze of crazy. It kind of just seeps out through the way he looks at me. And in his voice as he talks to me. But there’s something else there. It’s what goes unsaid that draws me to watch him. The family defers to him. Like Kenly, he’s the center of this family. Just like in the portrait I saw on the wall of their home the day I met Macon and Charlotte.

“I think we’ve lost her again,” Macon’s voice drifts through my trailing thoughts.

“Yes. You’ve all lost me. I am simply too old and too boring to stay out so late anymore. It’s way past my bedtime. And while tomorrow is Saturday, I’m beat. I should head out,” I say as I push back my chair and stand. “Thank you all for a wonderful evening. Grace thanks for the invite.” I round the edge of the dining room table and as expected, she’s already up with her arms stretched out.

“You’re welcome. Glad you can make it. Will we see you on Sunday?” I cough in reply. Everyone’s eyes are on me. Sometimes I hate these people.

“It’s so good to see you again, Ava,” I hear from my right side. Campbell’s arm stretches around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. Saved by the bell. I could kiss her. “We should have lunch. Soon. There’s so much to catch up on.”

“Yes. Definitely. We’ll figure out a time soon,” I say, hoping to avoid committing to anything. And then, hoping to quickly change the subject so I can be free, “Well, I’m off. Thanks again. See you all later,” I say as I wave goodbye and head for the door.

I listen as they all chime their goodbyes much like their hellos when I walked in the door. I head out the front door, undaunted by the fear I once had of being impolite. I listen to the door click shut. I breathe deeply my relief.

I don’t bother to look back or stop for fear one or the other of them will draw me back into some endless conversation about local politics or the medical profession. Or even worse? A conversation about me. I head down the steps of Grace and Grant’s, in as much of a run as I can muster. The cold wind of earlier has returned. The rustle of the sea oats that have made their home in the yard leave me with a perfectly hopeless empty place. That sound is the sound of family vacations on the beach. Sandcastles toppled by endless waves and the childlike hope of that the summer would not end.

That sound, so comforting yet painful, brings to mind the summer we spent on Cape Cod. The kids and I that is. Burns made it out to see us a couple of times – weekends here or there -- when the “job” allowed. One afternoon, the kids and I laid out our blankets and chairs near a tuft of sea oats, as far back from the wild waves as we could get. An elderly couple walked by, stopping to talk with Em and Ryan.

I watched -- a proud mom. The kids, Emily especially, had an uncanny way of talking to people – making them a part of her world in an instant. I suspect she will follow in her father’s choice of profession. I listened to the grandmother heart say Your hair is so very pretty. Did your mommy braid it? With a smile, Emily looked up at me and said, Yep. She did. I love it when she braids my hair.

The couple took a few steps towards me, the husband speaking first, we miss our grandkids. They’re on the west coast now. It’s always so fun for us to watch kiddos on the beach since we don’t really get that chance with our own. And then the Grandma finished, your children are beautiful. Your daughter bares a resemblance to you that’s uncanny. They’re very sweet and polite. You’re doing a wonderful job.

And then we bid adieu. I watched them walk away, listening to the clack, clack of the oats all the while. My heart swelled with the joy of being in the center of my greatest desire. To explain to one who has not experienced it, what it is to have children born of your heart, is nearly impossible. I can only tell you that my love for Emily and Ryan was no different than for Katie. One I carried and nurtured in my womb. The other two, carried and nurtured in my heart.

If asked, many would say I lost only one child. They forget. I lost three.

***

“Ava!” I hear my name on the edge of the wind. And then my heart sinks as I realize, I haven’t escaped them as seamlessly as I’d hoped. Macon. I turn to face him, knowing there’s no way to avoid him. “Wait up,” he calls after me.

I stand there, embarrassed by the tears that have dried to my face in the wind – likely in a white, salty line. “I – we – didn’t want you to walk home alone. It’s dark. And what with all the crime in Beaufort. I mean, just last week, the Manns had two roosters stolen. Right from their yard.” We’re standing on the corner of Marsh and Ann Street. A dim street light illumines us just enough to make out the lines of our faces on an otherwise black night. I watch Macon’s eyes dart across my face. And then down to his shoes.

For the first time all evening, he appears unsure of what to say. I’m sure he knows I’ve been crying. Honestly, I’m so tired and ready to be alone that I don’t even care. “All kidding aside, even in Beaufort, it’s probably best not to walk so far in the dark. Do you mind if I walk you home?”

“No,” is all I can manage. He smiles and shakes his head in agreement, almost as if he understands. I’m instantly annoyed. I turn away from him and start towards home. We walk down Marsh Street, silent. An angry gust of wind blows across my face from the north. I hate myself for not bringing a jacket. I shutter and gather my cardigan sweater close, as if that will actually keep the cold out.

Without so much as a thought, Macon removes his green nylon jacket. I don’t stop. I keep walking. Trying to pretend I don’t see him. He laughs. “Ava. Turn around and come get my jacket, you loon. It ain’t pretty but it’ll do the trick.” I keep walking.

“Ava Cooper! You promised to be good. How do you think Kenly will feel when I tell her, her favorite person snubbed her favorite uncle?”

Read the rest of the chapter, here.

Happy Fourth of July!!

Exposure by Brandilyn Collins

This week the CFBA is introducing

Exposure

by
Brandilyn Collins


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Brandilyn Collins is an award-winning and best-selling novelist known for her trademark Seatbelt Suspense®. These harrowing crime thrillers have earned her the tagline "Don't forget to

b r e a t h e . . ."® Brandilyn's first book, A Question of Innocence, was a true crime published by Avon in 1995. Its promotion landed her on local and national TV and radio, including the Phil Donahue and Leeza talk shows. Brandilyn is also known for her distinctive book on fiction-writing techniques, Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn From Actors (John Wiley & Sons). She is now working on her 20th book.

In addition to Exposure, Brandilyn’s other latest release is Always Watching, first in The Rayne Tour series—young adult suspense co-written with her daughter, Amberly. The Rayne Tour series features Shaley O’Connor, daughter of a rock star, who just may have it all—until murder crashes her world.



ABOUT THE BOOK

When your worst fear comes true.

Someone is watching Kaycee Raye. But who will believe her? Everyone
knows she’s a little crazy. Kaycee’s popular syndicated newspaper
column pokes fun at her own paranoia and multiple fears. The police in
her small town are well aware she makes money writing of her
experiences. Worse yet, she has no proof of the threats. Pictures of a
dead man mysteriously appear in her home—then vanish before police
arrive. Multisensory images flood Kaycee’s mind. Where is all this
coming from?

Maybe she is going over the edge.

High action and psychological suspense collide in this story of terror,
twists, and desperate faith. The startling questions surrounding Kaycee
pile high. Her descent to answers may prove more than she can survive.


To read the first chapter, go HERE.

“More twists and turns than a Coney Island roller coaster! Highly recommended.” ~CBA Retailers

“Mesmerizing mystery…authentic characters…a fast-paced, twisting tale of desperate choices.” ~TitleTrakk

“Brandilyn Collins is a master of suspense, and Exposure is her best book yet!” ~Dianne Burnett, Christianbook.com

** Elaina's note: As has been the case with the last three CFBA book featured, I have been unable to read them. My advanced reader copy of Exposure arrived at the end of last week. Prepping for interviews and two trips to Arizona for these interviews have definitely stepped into the way of my reading time. Brandilyn Collins' books do not disappoint however. I've enjoyed all of her books and am certain that she will provide suspense and twists and turns that will keep me guessing! She's that kind of author. :) I will come back to write a brief review as soon as possible.

New post

A new post on the other blog...Fiddle Dee Dee.

Love's Pursuit by Siri Mitchell

This week CFBA is introducing

Love's Pursuit
by
Siri Mitchell


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Siri Mitchell graduated from the University of Washington with a business degree and worked in various levels of government. As a military spouse, she has lived all over the world, including in Paris and Tokyo. Siri enjoys observing and learning from different cultures. She is fluent in French and loves sushi.

But she is also a member of a strange breed of people called novelists. When they’re listening to a sermon and taking notes, chances are, they’ve just had a great idea for a plot or a dialogue. If they nod in response to a really profound statement, they’re probably thinking, “Yes. Right. That’s exactly what my character needs to hear.” When they edit their manuscripts, they laugh at the funny parts. And cry at the sad parts. Sometimes they even talk to their characters.

Siri wrote 4 books and accumulated 153 rejections before signing with a publisher. In the process, she saw the bottoms of more pints of Ben & Jerry’s than she cares to admit. At various times she has vowed never to write another word again. Ever. She has gone on writing strikes and even stooped to threatening her manuscripts with the shredder.

A Constant Heart was her sixth novel. Two of her novels, Chateau of Echoes and The Cubicle Next Door were Christy Award finalists. She has been called one of the clearest, most original voices in the CBA.


ABOUT THE BOOK

In the small Puritan community of Stoneybrooke, Massachusetts, Susannah Phillips stands out both for her character and beauty. She wants only a simple life but soon finds herself pursued by the town's wealthiest bachelor and by a roguish military captain sent to protect them. One is not what he seems and one is more than he seems.

In trying to discover true love's path, Susannah is helped by the most unlikely of allies, a wounded woman who lives invisible and ignored in their town. As the depth, passion, and sacrifice of love is revealed to Susannah, she begins to question the rules and regulations of her childhood faith. In a community where grace is unknown, what price will she pay for embracing love?

If you would like to read the first chapter of Love's Pursuit, go HERE.

** Elaina's note: I have not yet had the opportunity to read this book. My prepartions for my job interviews and traveling to those have taken precedence. I enjoyed Mitchell's book A Constant Heart so I expect this one to be no different.

Show Me

Martina McBride had been my favorite singer for years. For some reason, I got out of the habit of listening to my Martina CD's or even what I've downloaded to my I Tunes. Before I knew it, she'd been bumped out of that favorite spot. I'm putting her back. On my drive to Yuma Sunday, I stuck her 2003 "Martina" CD. I listened to the entire thing -- to the end of her live rendition of Over the Rainbow. But I didn't pop the CD out. I let it run. When it didn't go back to the first song, I remembered that there was a surprise at the end of this CD.

As I was getting ready to make the trek through the mountain pass that takes you from San Diego County into the desert, the limited edition bonus track came on. Songs like this, from my favorite artists usually stick with me. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten it. This song is meant to be played loud -- blasting even. Driving the curves of the mountain, I sang my little heart out. Not as good as Martina (haha) but man, I love this song.

Martina's vocals always soar -- she's little but mighty. But there's something about the combination of the strings, her vocals and the background vocals that give this song such power. Far more so than any of her hits. This song was only released on CD's sold at Wal Mart stores. I'm so glad I bought it at Wal Mart.

It reminds me that I'm looking for something that isn't found easily. And not something I am going to compromise on.

Homeless

Photo by Cheryl

As I mentioned, I'm in Yuma. It's still 97 degrees at 11:15 PM. Earlier today when I stopped to meet my friend Tina for dinner, I saw a homeless man park his belongings at the picnic tables in front of Taco Bell. My heart sunk as I watched him lumber towards the door. It looked like a painful trek.

He is probably in his 60's. Rail thin. White hair and beard. He carried one of those plastic cups Taco Bell sells their gynormous largest drinks in. A family eating dinner, dressed in their church garb (or at least that's what it looked like) watched him. I watched them. A bit of disgust crossed the mom's face. I was instantly mad at her. And then I cursed my penchant for being judgmental.

I found a table in the corner to wait for my friend. I looked up as he began to fill his cup with ice and then lumbered back outside. My heart ache grew. It was blazing hot outside. The instant you walk outdoors, your body is blasted with the heat. My face literally felt like it was burning. It was as if I'd had the worst sunburn I'd ever had.

And there he was, sitting on a table outside. With a temperature reading of 109 degrees. He pulled his cart closer to him. And ate some of the ice. He sat for a moment. I thought about my life. And how much of a complainer I've been. He stood up and it was then that I watched as he filled several of those plastic Gladware kind of things with ice.

From his cart, he pulled out wrapped deli sandwiches -- like the kind you'd buy at the grocery store. He tried stuffing the three sandwiches, as best he could, into the containers filled with ice. My heart ached a little more. There is so much I take for granted. There are so many things I expect. Why? I don't know. Simply because I'm an American I suppose. I've grown comfortable with what I do have. And the family who is providing for my needs right now.

And yet, how different from the man with the white hair and the small shopping cart am I? I live off of the generosity of others. It would appear as though he does as well. He takes what money he's given or earns and buys food. And drinks from Taco Bell. And even then, what food he does buy is not enough to keep any meat on his frail frame. How different from him am I? Truthfully? I expect I'm not really all that different.

Not in the eyes of the God who created him anyway. Not in the eyes of the God who created me. He's precious in His sight. A son. Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139).

It's Gettin Hot in Here...

I'm in Yuma, AZ. It's hot. Really hot. I don't care if it's a "dry" heat. It's still about 22 degrees hotter than I prefer. Haha!

But I really like this town. Not sure why. :) Maybe it's the sunsets? Those dust and sand storms? They help to make those up there in the photo. Gorgeous. So I can totally deal with the heat...

Also...

there's are two posts up at Fiddle Dee Dee.

Favor?

If you're the praying kind, please pray for my friend "L.W." tomorrow. She's fighting a battle in NC to save her kidneys. She's in renal failure now. But there's the possibility that the antibodies causing this destruction might be stopped and the situation reversed. It is admittedly looking likely that she will require a transplant. But we hope and pray this will not be necessary. She's facing her final plasmo paresis treatment tomorrow, one last shot at dialysis and a chemotherapy blast before potentially being released from Chapel Hill for a bit to see how the treatments have worked.

L.W. is the mother of three very little girls and the wife of a Marine. She is one of the funniest people I have ever known. And to this very moment, she's keeping a positive spirit and making jokes. This is her way. But tomorrow she faces her most extensive and strongest day of treatments to shove these antibodies attacking her system 0n their ass. If you're the praying type -- pray for my friend tomorrow. Pray that she will have strength, peace, stamina and most of all, that her body would once and for all, be rid of these creeps attacking her system.